Aaron Dorkin to Direct Movie About My Blog!

Excited to announce that the critically acclaimed filmmaker Aaron Dorkin will be making a movie of the controversial founding of this blog entitled Social Suicide. Starring Jesse Ears'n'berg, the movie chronicles the legal battle between an emotionally unstable nutty bar-addicted blogger (me) and my roommate at Disney University, Buster, a mentally disabled Orangutan -- who claims I stole his idea for the blog.  Tensions rise, as Buster and I enter Judge Judy's court to fight over the blog's considerable investment money -- $100 dollars raised on Kickstarter from a mysterious donor named "Love Dad." I won't give too much away, besides that someone goes home with a ton of bananas.*  Not only is Social Suicide a legal drama of the high caliber of such Oscar worthy films as Legally Blonde 2  and Liar Liar, it is also a chronicle of a historic website that forever revolutionized social relations.** Don't miss Social Suicide. Hannukah 2015.

       Buster the mentally disabled Orangutan, played by Jimmy the Orangutan*** in Social Suicide


*Spoiler alert. It isn't Buster.
**After the site's founding, people have pretty much given up on the belief that learning about other people is worthwhile and have begun isolating themselves socially.
*** Jimmy, who is not a mentally disabled Orangutan himself, is up for an academy award for his ingenius portrayal of a mentally disabled primate .

I Really Could Care Less About Susan, Lynette, Bree and Gabby

Me, interested in Desperate Housewives? Ha! Can you imagine?  Ridiculous! My wife watches it, and I'm like, oh, God, not this crap again! I'm going to sit here and read my serious book on politics and not pay any mind to the ridiculousness on the screen. Like I really care what's going on on Wisteria Lane with Susan, Mike, Carlos, Gabby, Bree and Lynette. Like I care whether Edie's new husband, Dave, manages to kill Mike for revenge for the accidental death of his family, or whether the revelation that Gabby's daughter was switched at birth will destroy Gabby. That is of absolutely no value to me, a serious intellectual person with much better things to do with his time than laugh as Susan takes a job as a naughty webcam cleaning lady. If I ask my wife questions about who the young man holding Lynnette hostage is or what happened to Orson, the guy who steals for revenge, it is simply to be a supportive husband who shows interest in his wife's interests. As for me personally, I'm not in the least bit concerned whether the pharmacist will poison Bree's husband, or whether Tom's past with Vanessa Williams' character Renee will destroy Tom's family. If you happen to catch me staring at the TV for long periods of time while my wife is watching this inanity, it isn't because I am at all interested in the success or failure of Tom's new pizza business or Carlos's affair with Gabby while Carlos is with Edie... it is merely me being a really, really, really supportive husband. In fact, I better go be supportive right now and see what's happening with Renee moving in across the street from Lynette--just so the wife has someone to talk to about it, of course. Geez, imagine, me actually caring about a stupid soap opera like Desperate Housewives. That's about as absurd as saying that Mike and Susan weren't meant to be together.